


greyjoys just wanna have fun

by aryasbadbenergy



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College AU, Crack Fic, F/M, M/M, Party, Plotting, Scheming, Spin the Bottle, Spying, THIS IS TOLD FROM THEONS POV, also theon has the hots for gendry but like, but you would be too if you didnt know, he doesnt want to date him he just admires his physique as one does, how to ask to platonically suck your homies dick, okay now that that’s out of the way, outsider pov, theon has a lot of gay thought repressing, theon is a bit of an a hole, theon is having a rough week okay, which could be triggering for some so please be wary of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryasbadbenergy/pseuds/aryasbadbenergy
Summary: to avoid a cursed romantic life, theon must do everything he can to pair up his best mate’s little sister with a boy in his psychology class





	1. friday

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS TOLD FROM THEON’S POV. 
> 
> i just want to make sure everyone knows that lol because i hate when gendrya fics are tagged as gendrya when they actually aren’t but i promise this bad boy is gendrya
> 
> also this fic is written purely for my own self entertainment so don’t take it too seriously lol

Tyene reaches for the beer bottle in the center of her, Daenerys, and Theon.

"Are you playing spin the bottle?" Theon rolls his eyes. Robb and Jon weren't even here tonight, so he had no idea why Arya would be here, bothering him.

"No! Where are we? In high school?" Theon shrills. "Oh no, Arya Stark, this is not mundane Spin-the-Bottle," he protests ardently. Theon hasn't played Spin-the-Bottle for himself since he kissed Robb once as a senior in high school. It was a very strange experience and he decided to never play again.

"Well, you're all standing in a circle, and you're spinning a bottle, so..." Theon blinks at her, waiting for her to go away. He didn't have an issue with Arya, but her and Jon were exactly alike, which always helped convince Robb to do the _proper_ thing. It got annoying pretty fast. She doesn't go away, though. "Can I play?"

"You don't even know what we're playing."

"It's Spin-the-Bottle," she insists.

"It's not Spin-the-Bottle."

"Then tell me what it is and let me play."

"No. Don't you have an SAT to take tomorrow morning or something?"

"I live in the apartment next to yours, Theon. I'm not in high school, anymore."

"Whatever. Go away or I'm telling Robb and Jon that you lied about having an exam tonight so you couldn't go home for the weekend. I don't think either of them would be too pleased to know their baby sister _lied_ and _came to a party without their supervision,_ " he emphasizes with a roll of his eyes.

"Let me play or I'll tell Robb that one time I went into your apartment because he told me to bring him his textbook and you were fapping on the living room couch to that video that you know I saw," she threatens. Theon did know that she saw, and he would like to block the memory permanently from his mind.

"A man should be able to do whatever he wants when he's alone without his mate's sister poking around in his business." Arya rolls her eyes and stands next to Daenerys, who welcomes her into the circle. Theon narrows his eyes at his sister's girlfriend. Daenerys laughs and shakes her head at him. "You don't want to play," he tries a hand at reverse psychology. He didn't pay a lot of attention to the lessons in that class, but maybe it could work. "It's mostly girls playing."

"What? You think I've never kissed a girl before?" She asks.

Theon can only blink at her for a moment. As a matter of fact, he did think that Arya had never kissed a girl. Mr. and Mrs. Stark were devoutly religious, and their children seemed to follow suit. But if Arya rebelled, there's a slight chance Robb might, too. Theon shakes his head.

"Just go away." Arya huffs dramatically, but finally complies.

Tyene takes the first of three spins. The neck of the bottle on her spin points to one of her half-sisters and the bottom lands on a girl on the Dothraki riding team. The objective is to get the two people outside of the circle to kiss by the end of the night without telling either of them about the game.

Tyene grins devilishly and introduces her sister to the girl. She walks back to Theon and Daenerys. “And now we wait,” she says before Theon reaches for the bottle and spins it.

He follows the direction of the neck for it to land on a guy from his psychology class, who he’s pretty sure is named Gary, and it shouldn’t be too hard for Theon to get his opposite to kiss him. He’s attractive with his dark hair and blue eyes, but Theon doesn’t really notice that kind of stuff. Especially not on guys.

He looks past the back of the bottle and shakes his head when he sees her. “No! No, I have to spin again,” he insists and reaches for the bottle.

“You can’t!” Tyene protests and blocks his hand.

“No re-spins! It’s a rule!” Daenerys adds.

Theon shakes his head again. “She’s my mate’s little sister!”

Tyene shrugs. “So? Nym is my sister! It doesn’t matter. You spun them and if they don’t kiss before the night ends, you’re cursed.”

Theon doesn’t want to be cursed. He’s having a hard enough time as it is. He sighs and approaches Arya.

It’s not like he’s trying to hook her up with someone random from his psychology class. It’s just a kiss.

Kisses mean nothing a lot of the time, and he knows this from experience.

"Arya!" Theon shouts. She raises her eyebrow at him and stops talking to Lyanna. "Come here for a minute," he begs and waves her over. Arya treads over to him and he starts to lead her to the burly boy.

“Can I play now?”

Theon shakes his head. “No, the game is almost over,” he lies. “But have you met Gary?" The guy crosses his arms and stares at him. Theon hesitates. _Not Gary_. "Geor..." he starts. The guy raises his eyebrow this time. _Not George, either. Fuck._

"Gendry," the guy announces, gruffly. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Theon Greyjoy. We have a class together," Theon protests.

Gendry shakes his head. "No, I don't think so."

Theon purses his lips and nods. _Well, fuck me, I guess._

"Yeah, anyway, Arya," Theon says and pats her shoulder. She scowls at him and shrugs him off. "This is Gendry," he mutters and leaves them by the stereo.

_Whatever. The stupid curse isn’t even real._

He makes it back to Tyene and Daenerys, who reaches for the bottle. She spins it and they all watch it scan the surrounding crowd before it slows to a stop.

The neck points to Missandei who's pouring a drink, and Grey Worm laughing at Qhono's joke with the bottom of the bottle.

"Oh, that is _so_ not fair," Theon moans, as Daenerys grins and walks over to her friend. She pushes her braid behind her shoulder and taps Missandei on the shoulder. She motions to Grey Worm with a tilt of her head and Missandei walks over to her boyfriend. Theon groans again at his rotten luck and Tyene laughs at him before she points to her own spun pair kissing.

Theon grabs the beer bottle and uncaps it. Technically, Spin-the-Bottle is supposed to be played with empty bottles, but this isn’t Spin-the-Bottle. He needs to drink it more than Tyene and Daenerys, anyway. _Bitches_.


	2. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon decides that even if the night is over, it won’t stop him from attempting to break his curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof okay so arya and gendry aren’t in this chapter they’re just mentioned so im v sorry for that 
> 
> also i’ve been reading the asoiaf books for the first time since i finished the show and i didn’t realize that tyene wasn’t ellaria’s daughter bc in the show she was and in conclusion i hate how different d&d wrote the show so this is based on show-verse characters only bc otherwise i’m gonna get it all mixed up lmao

Arya did not kiss Gendry. Despite Theon's best efforts, and holding in a piss for two hours to watch them, they did not kiss. They seemed to hit it off though, and Gendry kept laughing, which is something that Theon had no idea he could do. But they didn't kiss. Or touch. At all.

Theon is cursed.

Tyene and Daenerys kept telling him to calm down, because it's just a game, but it isn't just a game. When Tyene brought it up last year for just her and Theon to play, it was able to get Yara and Daenerys together for real. Yara is a bit older than Daenerys, but Daenerys still kissed her that first night. They started letting her play a few months ago, and until last night, Theon was the only one who had never failed to make his spun pair kiss.

"Bitch," Tyene greets him when he answers the phone that morning.

"Good morning to you, too," he mumbles. He can practically hear Tyene's eyes rolling.

"Are you still wallowing about last night?"

"No," Theon lies.

"Yes, you are. Get up, I'm coming over," she sighs.

Theon groans, but accepts the offer.

He brushes his teeth and pulls on some pants before Tyene shows up with coffee and bagels.

"Listen up, asshole. You're not cursed," she snaps. "Dany and I haven't gotten people to kiss loads of times and we’re doing fine." Tyene isn't very touchy-feely, but she is able to snap some sense into Theon every once in a while.

"Yeah, but for all we know, it could take months for the curse to present itself. Or _years_!"

"The curse isn't real! It's just a stupid thing that Sarella and I made up when we were in high school!"

"I am cursed!" Theon insists. "And the Gods are taunting me by making me spin _Robb_ ‘s little sister!"

"Shut up," Tyene grumbles and shoves a chunk of bagel into her mouth. "If you say "you're cursed" one more time, I'll rip your appendix out.”

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Theon grumbles. "And I _am_." Tyene reaches out and smacks the side of his head.

"Stop," she takes a sip of her coffee. "If you're so worked up about it, just get them to kiss now. The game never says that they have to kiss under a time limit," she grumbles.

Theon slowly chews his bagel, considering it. Tyene stares at him. "That's a good idea," he says. "If I can get them to kiss, then it will break the curse!"

"No. I wasn't being serious," Tyene shrills. "There is no stupid curse! It's just a game!"

"Come on, Tyene. We have some plotting to do," he grins.

She only scowls back.

* * *

 

Tyene is about as helpful as a box of thumbtacks, but Theon is still able to come up with a few ideas. Now that he knows the guy is named Gendry, which a stupid name, he forces Tyene to help him find any of Gendry's social media accounts. They finally find an Instagram account, but it's private.

"Tyene, request to follow him."

"No! He's your spin! You do it."

"No! I told him my name last night, he won't accept my request after I called him Gary."

She rolls her eyes, but requests to follow him anyway."Now what?"

"I need to find a way to become his friend." Tyene snorts. "What?" She only snorts again. "I can make friends!" he insists. "We're friends."

"Mmm, jury's still out on that one, Theon." Theon scoffs. "Robb is your friend because you guys grew up right next door to each other. He's known you since you were children, so he never realized how annoying seventy percent of your habits are."

"What? I'm not _that_ bad!"

"Yeah, you are." Theon sighs. "Didn't you say you had a class with him?"

Theon nods. "Okay, well next time you have to do a group or partner project, just convince him to partner up with you."

"But Robb's in our class. I always pair up with Robb."

Tyene rolls her eyes. "Do you want to break your curse or not?"

"Fair enough," Theon sighs.

* * *

 

“Pretty girls drink for free tonight,” Yara says with a smirk when she hands Dany a beer bottle. Dany blushes a little and smiles back at her girlfriend.

“You’ve never given me a free beer and I’m your brother,” Theon complains. Happy couples disgust him.

Yara rolls her eyes. “You’re neither a girl nor pretty.”

Theon scowls at his older sister. He can be pretty.

“Do you three want an empty bottle for your stupid game?” Yara asks from behind the bartop. Tyene had spun Yara one night while she was working with Dany, who was only a pretty blonde on the other side of the bar to them. Daenerys became their friends pretty quickly after they introduced her to Yara, and only laughed when Theon and Tyene admitted the nature of their introduction.

“We’re on a break from playing that,” Tyene grumbles.

Yara raises an eyebrow. “Theon spun two people that he can’t make kiss and now he’s convinced that he’s actually cursed,” Daenerys clarifies.

“The only curse you have is your personality,” Yara bristles. Theon scowls at her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how quickly this bad boy is going to usually be updated lol but here’s another update


	3. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon tries to connect with arya about twenty years too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very small chapter aha sorry but i have it plotted to follow the course of a week and i wanted to do it by days bc im extra

Theon steps out of his shared apartment with Robb the next morning just in time to catch Arya struggling to unlock her door with bags of groceries. “Here! I’ll help,” Theon offers and grabs a bag from her arms.

Arya raises her eyebrow. “Uh... thanks?” She fits the key in the lock and twists it.

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he says, mostly because he has never once offered to help her and isn’t sure that he wants to answer her for why he suddenly decided to be courteous. She walks into her apartment that she shares with Jon and sets her bags on the counter. Theon follows her and sets the last bag on the counter. She starts to unload her groceries.

“You said that you kissed girls, right?" Arya sets a box of cereal down and stares at him for a moment.

"Uh, yeah?"

"But you still like boys, too, right?"

"I know you're into my brother, so I know you're not coming onto me—" she starts.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he interrupts. "I'm not into your brother. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He is _not_ into Robb. Not even a little. He’s never considered it. Not once.

Arya rolls her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Why do you want to know?" _Whatever_? Theon scowls at her.

"I'm just curious, that's all," he insists.

"Yeah. I like boys. And girls. Whoever, really,” she shrugs and puts away the milk she bought. “Do _you_ like boys?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

Theon furrows his eyebrows at her question. “No. I’ve liked girls since the day I was born, Arya,” he insists. It wasn’t strictly true. But Tyene was the only person—not even Robb knew—who knew that Theon had experimented with other guys as a freshman.

Arya rolls her eyes again. “What are you doing here? Robb’s gonna be home in a few hours, but if you really need human interaction I’m sure that you have a friend somewhere you can call.”

“Uh...” Theon shifts from foot to foot. “I just, thoughtmaybe... we’ve known each other for a long time and we’ve never really gotten to know each other.”

“I can live with that,” she admits.

Theon purses his lips. Arya reaches for her stack of cereal boxes that’s almost as tall as her torso. “How many boxes of cereal did you buy?” Theon asks.

“Look, I’m not always here to help Jon cook, and last time he tried to feed himself something that required cooking, the apartment smelled like burnt ramen noodles for two nights.”

Theon lets out a soft laugh. “What an idiot,” he teases.

Arya shakes her head. “No. You’re not allowed to say that about him,” she says without an ounce of humor. 

Theon winces a little. Bonding with Arya is not going as well as expected. “Right, well. I’m so glad that we had this chance to bond this morning,” he gives her aforced smile and starts to walks out of Arya and Jon’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL I GET TO QUIT MY JOB BC I FINALLY GOT HIRED SOMEWHERE ELSE REJOICE REJOICE store hours that end before midnight and don’t start until 8am here i come


	4. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon tries to pursue gendry for arya in his psychology class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it’s been a hot minute since i updated but suddenly i am inspired? have a dose of crackfic today ig

"What are you doing?" Robb asks. "We always work together."

Theon hesitates. "Yeah, but I just think it will be good for us to work with other people," he lies.

"Did I do something wrong last time?" Robb asks and he actually sounds hurt. Theon ignores the wrenching of his heart. Robb could always keep his feelings in check, and it's hurting that Theon has visibly upset him.

"No, you did nothing wrong! You're a great partner, really, it's just that we won't always get to work together, so we should try to branch out."

"Fine, whatever," Robb snaps and hands Theon his textbook and binder. Theon approaches Gendry to go in for the kill.

Before Theon can open his mouth, another boy sits down by Gendry.

Gendry looks up at Theon and raises his eyebrow, arms crossed once again. _Good Gods, he's broody._

Theon looks back and forth between the two guys, debating on if he should just give it up now.

"Can I help you?" Gendry asks. His voice is deeper than he remembered, and that's a pro that he can use to convince Arya. Arya can probably be easily swayed when Gendry's arms are the size of her torso.

"I told you we had a class together," Theon says. Gendry just stares at him. It's like talking to a brick wall.

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to partner up for this. My regular partner and I are trying to broaden our horizons."

The other boy speaks up. "Who's your partner?"

"Robb Stark," Theon says. The boy stands up and pats Gendry's shoulder.

"He has an A in this class. Sorry, Gendry," he grabs his stuff and starts to walk over to Robb.

"Anguy—" Gendry starts.

"Well, looks like it's just me and you," Theon says.

Gendry shrugs and motions to the seat next to him. Theon sits down. First, he needs to gain Gendry's trust.

Theon hesitates for a moment. Gendry could probably crush him if he really wanted to. Gaining trust may not be one of his options when his romantic stability depends on it. Rip the bandaid off.

"So, do you have a girlf—"

"No."

"No, you don't or no—"

"No, it's not your business," Gendry says gruffly and Theon shuts up. Fair enough.

Theon instead discusses the assignment with Gendry, and while he is still abrasive, he is more open to talk about the effect that color will have on the brain for their mock advertisement.

* * *

 “How did broadening your horizons work out for you this morning?” Robb huffs and sets his bag down on their countertop. Theon shrugs.

“It was fine. Gendry’s smart, too, so I wasn’t helpless,” Theon teases, hoping that a little mock low self-esteem will sway Robb to forget the slight from this morning.

“Well, that’s great for you, but Andrew does fuck all,” Robb hisses.

“An _guy_ ,” Theon corrects, gently.

“Whatever.”

“Is it really that different than working with me, then?”

“You do—stuff,” Robb argues.

Theon raises his eyebrows at him. Theon is maybe not the hardest worker when it comes to group and partner projects.

“Well, it’s different when you do it.”

“How?”

Robb shrugs. “Because I actually like you,” he mutters. “And we already have to branch out in the classes that we don’t have together. Why can’t we just keep working together for the rest of the semester?”

Theon grimaces. He is not about to tell Robb that the reason he chose to work with Gendry this morning is to try to convince him to mack on Robb’s little sister.

“I’m sorry, Robb. It was a stupid idea,” Theon admits.

“Promise that we’ll work together next time?”

Theon nods. “I promise.” Robb grins and Theon tells the feeling in his heart to ‘shut the fuck up.’


	5. tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon thinks videos of sweaty gendry might help his case

**Tyene: Gary accepted my follow request**

**Theon: *Gendry**

**Tyene: Yeah whatever he has like two posts so I followed his friend too and he posted this**

***Tyene has sent an attachment***

**Tyene: Show this to Arya and she'll definitely make out with him**

Theon looks at the screen recording and nods to himself. Tyene is useful sometimes. The boy in his psych class, Anguy, posted a video of Gendry at the gym. He’s sweaty and lifting weights while Anguy narrates him.

**Theon: Perfect.**

Theon plans to make an excuse to go to Arya and Jon’s apartment, but neither of them are the fondest of Theon, so none of his plans will work out so well for him. Luckily, Jon apparently works late tonight, so Arya comes over to eat dinner with Robb on a whim. Robb makes some pasta and Theon leaves his room to sit by Arya on their couch. He doesn’t talk to her for a few minutes and plays around on his phone to try not to make it obvious what he’s trying to do. He pulls open the video from Tyene and turns to Arya.

"Arya, look at this," he says, waving his hand under the screen. He presses play and turns up the volume.

“We’ve been here for about fifteen minutes. Hot Pie’s passed out over there,” Anguy says and zooms in on some boy before panning back to Gendry. “And Gendry is looking good over at the weights. Look at that sexy, sexy man,” he drawls before zooming in on Gendry’s face. Gendry winks and grins.

“Okay, that’s enough. Turn it off,” Gendry laughs.

Anguy zooms in on Gendry’s arms one last time. “Sweaty man—“

“Anguy.” The video stops.

She shrugs.

"Look! Are you looking?"

"Yeah, I'm looking," she says with a raise of her eyebrow. "Why are you so obsessed with him?"

Theon opens his mouth like a fish and closes it. "I..."

"If you like him so much, Theon, why don't you ask him out?"

"Because I don't like boys," he reminds.

Arya tilts her head a little towards Robb, who's cooking spaghetti in their kitchen, but doesn't say anything.

"I mean, if I was a girl, I would probably fuck Gendry,” he admits. 

"People are bi, Theon," Arya reminds flatly and pats his shoulder before standing. "Maybe you should consider the fact that you could be, too."

Theon starts to argue back, but Arya walks into the kitchen with Robb before he can say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this makes me so happy i just needed to write a non angst fic for once lmao and there are three chapters left! the ending is my fave omg


	6. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon tries to (spoiler alert: unsuccessfully) give gendry arya’s phone number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so short but i lowkey forgot that this story existed ahaha i’m the worst

“Do you play sports?”

”I used to play hockey,” Gendry says, and scans the passage for the phrase he’s looking for with his index finger. 

“Oh, okay, I played hockey in high school.”

”Neat.”

”You have to be pretty strong for hockey, too. What position did you play?”

“Defencemen.”

Theon smiles. He misses when he played hockey with Robb at their high school. Robb was their centre, and Theon was one of their defencemen. They were well enough in sync with each other that they barely needed Jory as their second defencemen, much to Jory’s dismay. 

Theon looks back to Gendry and focuses on the task at hand. 

"So, do you remember that girl that I introduced you to on Friday?"

Gendry grunts.

"Well, in case you forgot to get her phone number, I would be more than happy to give it to you," Theon says. "I've known her for years."

"Lucky her," Gendry mumbles.

Theon pretends to not hear him. "Or her instagram?" He pulls up a picture of her at a dinner from a few weeks ago. He isn't sure who took the picture, but he hopes that she wasn't on a date because that would be awkward if she was still seeing the person. She hasn't mentioned anyone to Robb though, so Theon doubts that.

"Isn't she cute?" He says and shows the picture to Gendry.

Gendry shrugs. "Yeah, she's cute," he responds.

Theon gets hit with a strange feeling of guilt. He remembers when he was younger, and Sansa and her friend Jeyne used to call her "Arya Horseface." He had said it behind her back a few times and thought it more than a few times. Theon clenches his jaw and closes the app. Arya was just a kid, he shouldn't have treated her like that.

Theon shakes his head. There's nothing he can do to change how he treated her. And she doesn't seem to hate him now, so there's no benefit of trudging up the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in other news i broke up with my boyfriend and filled out an application to an all girls university to try to transfer to next fall it’s called gay care


	7. thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the curse starts to appear in theon’s life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is not gendrya centric but more throbb centric, i apologize in advance for that

**Dany: Tyene says you're still trying to get Arya and Gendry to kiss?**

**Theon: unfortunately yes**

**Dany: You could try just talking to Arya**

**Theon: ??**

**Dany: I can't tell you because it's not my business to tell, but I'm sure if you just spoke to her about the full situation it would work out**

**Theon: bitch?**

**Dany: you're an idiot theon**

Theon stares at his phone. He is not going to ask Arya to kiss Gendry just so that he might have a chance with her oldest brother.

Robb crashes through the apartment door.

He wipes his eyes roughly and Theon stands up. "Robb?"

Robb storms into his room and slams the door shut. Theon softly knocks. "Robb? Are you alright?"

"Not now," he mutters and Theon breathes deeply. What happened?

"Do you—"

"I said not now, Theon!" Robb snaps through the slammed door. Theon sighs and leaves Robb alone. He starts a shower and lets the warm water rush over him for a while. He always feels better after being in water.

Robb always opens up to Theon. Theon has to admit that he's a little jealous of the girl Robb is currently dating because she tends to take up all of his leftover time after his schoolwork.

He dries off and knocks on Robb's door again. "Robb?"

Robb sighs on the other side. "You can come in now."

Theon opens the door and slowly steps inside. Robb wipes his red eyes and sits up straighter. He scoots over on the foot of his bed where he's sitting, and Theon sits to join him.

"So, what happened?"

"I... I had to stop dating Talisa."

Theon grimaces. "I'm sorry, Robb. What happened?"

Robb takes a slow breath. "Because I don't really believe that I like her anymore."

"Oh." Theon tries to think about what to say. Robb had went on a few dates with Talisa and at first he seemed to really like her. Theon furrows his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"I just... I realized some stuff recently and I knew I had to do it."

"I understand," Theon says and pats Robb's knee. "You didn't want to hurt her anymore than you would have to."

Robb nods a little. He looks at Theon's hand on his knee and rests his own hand over it. Theon turns to him to give him a soft smile to show his support. Robb squeezes Theon's hand and glances down to his lips.

It only takes Theon a second to realize what might be happening, when Robb starts to lean in. Theon stands up, knocking their heads together in the process, and scrambles away from Robb.

"I have to—I'm going to Yara's," he chokes out and leaves Robb's bedroom.

"Theon! Theon, wait! I—"

Theon grabs his keys from his room and makes his way to their door.

"I'm sorry, I—I didn't—" Theon closes the door before he lets himself hear the rest of the sentence. I didn't mean it.

* * *

"It's the curse!" Theon groans to Yara and finishes off his third beer. 

Yara rolls her eyes. "It's not the curse. The curse isn't real," she snaps before she hands him his fourth beer. "Drink more slowly. I don't want to be responsible for you if you get alcohol poisoning."

Theon wipes his mouth and rests his face on the bar top. Yara flicks his ear. "Sit up," she demands. "Have some dignity."

"Are you not listening to me?" Theon moans. "We almost kissed. But I didn't know what to do because he was sad and it didn't feel right—"

"Since when have you cared about doing what's right?"

Theon opens his mouth, but then closes it. She raises her eyebrows and turns to a customer.

"Hi, what can I get for you?"

Theon rests his head in his hands. Two girls sit on either side of him.

"Yara called," Dany says.

Theon sits up and Yara sets an order of onion rings down in front of him. "Eat," she orders and turns back to another customer.

"What happened? She said you just kept talking about the stupid curse," Tyene asks.

Theon sadly chews an onion ring. "Robb tried to kiss me."

Dany gasps and Tyene shoves his shoulder. "No way!"

"He didn't," Theon clarifies. "Tried."

"Well, why did he only try? Why'd you stop him?"

Theon takes a sip of his beer."He just broke up with Talisa. And he didn't mean it. It's just the curse."

"Shut up about the curse!" Yara growls. "If I hear you mention that fucking curse one more time under this roof, I'll have you banned for life."

Theon sticks his tongue out at his older sister.

“You’re not cursed. Robb will either like you or he won’t like you,” Daenerys starts.

“And that’s not something that you can change by trying to make his little sister kiss some random guy because of your stupid game,” Yara finishes. Theon rolls his eyes at the couple finishing each other’s thoughts. Disgusting.

Tyene nods and gives him a light pat on his shoulder. “When you’re sure that Robb isn’t still sad about Talisa, make out with him.”

Theon gives Dany and Tyene small smiles before wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders for a hug.

“Ew, get off of me! When was the last time you showered?” Tyene protests.

“It’s the onion rings,” he says, and rests his head against the cool bar top again. 

Yara has to half carry, half drag him to her apartment later that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay there is only one chapter left!! i meant to have this story finished forever ago but oh 🐳


	8. friday pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theon is given one last chance to stop the “curse”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ending really made me so happy like take notes got because not to pat myself on the back but this is the proper way to sUbVeRt eXpEcTaTiOnS

Theon has to step carefully when he makes it back to his apartment. He regrets drinking so much last night, but it’s probably for the best that he drank so much because then he had no choice but to stay with Yara. He unlocks the door as quietly as he can, and hopes that Robb isn’t awake. Theon doesn’t want to see him. Not for a little while longer, at least. He brushes his teeth and changes into some clean clothes. He sniffs himself to make sure that Tyene was only kidding about him needing a shower, and decides that he wants to leave the apartment as soon as he can. He grabs his backpack, and forgets to avoid a piece of wood that he knows squeaks.

His silent venture had been going so well, until Jon sat up from the couch in the living room. Theon nearly screams, but covers his mouth. Jon narrows his eyes at Theon for disturbing him. Theon narrows his eyes back because this is his apartment, and Jon shouldn’t be upset with him.

“Where were you last night? Robb was worried,” he yawns and rubs his eyes.

“Out,” Theon replies shortly, keeping his voice low.

“Did you guys have an argument or something?”

“If it was your business, Robb would’ve already told you,” Theon snaps. “What are you doing here. You have a perfectly good apartment right across the hall.”

Jon grimaces. “Arya had her boyfriend over last night, and I was not about to sleep next to our adjoining walls.”

“Arya had her _what_ over?”

“Nothing. No one. Forget I said anything,” Jon’s eyes widen.

“How long has she had a boyfriend? Why doesn’t Robb know?” And by that, Theon means why doesn’t _he_ know, because anything Robb knows, he tells to Theon. At least he did.

“She wants to keep it private. Please, Theon, I know we don’t have the closest relationship, but I am begging you, do not repeat this to Robb.” Theon bites his tongue a little to avoid mentioning that Jon doesn’t have to worry about Theon telling Robb anything for a while. “I’m one of the few people who knows, and if you found out, she would know that I told you.”

Theon hears Robb’s bed shifting. “Okay, fine. I know nothing,” he grumbles and leaves the apartment before Robb sees him. Of course, Arya would have a boyfriend. Why would anything go right for him this week?

* * *

 Theon barely speaks to Gendry that morning. They finished their project a few minutes after class started and Theon wanted to spend the rest of his time wallowing. Never mind that he has an essay due Sunday night that he could probably work on now.

The class ends, and Theon starts to pack up his stuff.

“Well, Gendry, it was a pleasure to work with you,” Theon lies. The only upside of it all week had been that it helped him avoid Robb during class today. If they had worked together, that would have been awkward. “Maybe one day, we can do it again, sometime.”

"I..." Gendry sighs deeply. "I'm not trying to be a dick," he starts. Theon flits his eyebrows up but drops them back down. He wasn't one to talk, but Gendry has been a dick since the first time they spoke to each other. "And if you are gay, that's cool, I don't have any prob—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?"

"I'm not... I don't like guys."

"Good for you? I don't like guys, either," Theon insists and starts packing his things faster.

Gendry raises his eyebrows. "Uh... you’ve been...”

"I wasn’t hitting on you." _Not for me, at least_ , Theon grumbles in his head.  _But for someone who wasn’t even grateful for it._

"Oh. Sorry," Gendry winces. "I just thought, with all those questions about if I had a girlfriend and how I had to be strong to play hockey..."

"No, no, not at all," Theon insists. "Sorry about that."

"Not your fault," Gendry clears his throat. Theon lets out a small chuckle for the first time all day. “And yeah, you were a better partner than Anguy,” Gendry says with a small grin. Theon smiles back and gives Gendry a small pat on his shoulder.

* * *

 “I’m not going to that stupid fucking party,” Theon grumbles. He had to deal with people all day. And now that he was finally alone, Tyene expected him to deal with more people when he meant to use the rest of his night to wallow. Tyene rolls her eyes.

“Then go back to your own apartment,” she suggests.

Theon rolls over the face away from her on her bed and she stands up from her desk chair. She grabs the edge of her blanket and pulls.

“Get up.”

“No.”

She pulls harder. “Get. Up,” she grunts, yet Theon barely moves.

“You are coming to this party and you are going to stop wallowing about the stupid curse or you’re going home to talk to Robb,” she insists. “You’re not staying here to ruin my room’s energy. My sheets will smell like you soon enough and you have no idea how unappealing that is.”

“Ha-ha,” Theon mumbles.

Tyene sucks in a sharp breath and tugs her blanket as hard as she can. Theon crashes off the bed and hits his head on her nightstand on his way down.

“ _OW_!” Theon rubs his head. “Bitch!”

Tyene places her hands on her hips and smirks down at him. “Make your choice, Theon Greyjoy.”

* * *

 Theon steps outside and away from the party and lets out a sigh. He rests his head against the wall and accepts that he's just going to die alone. Robb ended up coming to the party after all, and Theon just wanted to get away from him for a little while longer. He couldn’t avoid Robb for the rest of his life, but he would damn well try to avoid more humiliation. He hears rustling from the other side of the porch and turns his head. A girl laughs when some guy presses her into the siding and Theon screams on the inside. _Can't a man just wallow in fucking peace?_

"Gendry," she sighs. _Oh, great._ Now his curse is here to fucking haunt him. Theon can hear them kissing and now he's even more miserable. Robb is inside, but outside there's a couple macking on each other. He could just go home, but Robb would get back to their apartment eventually.

"Don't you think it's funny..." the girl starts, breathless. "That Theon—" His head snaps up at his name. "wanted us to kiss?" _Jesus H. Christ._

Theon nearly falls over. _Is Gendry really kissing Arya? Is Gendry really Arya’s boyfriend? Is Theon really the dumbest bitch alive?_

Gendry lets out a breathless chuckle. "That's what all of that was about?" _Those bitches. They were playing him the entire goddamn time._

"Uh-huh. They were playing some weird version of Spin-the-Bottle and Dany says that if the player can't get two people to kiss, then their love life is cursed forever."

"Sounds stupid," Gendry huffs. Arya laughs.

"It is," she replies. Theon furrows his eyebrows. Last week, she had been begging him to let her play his weird version of Spin-the-Bottle.

"I thought he had something going on. He showed me that picture I took of you a few weekends ago and asked if I thought you were cute."

"And what did you say?" Arya teases.

"I knew you didn't want him telling your brother we were together, so I just said 'yeah.'" Theon can't help but feel a little offended that nobody trusted him to keep that secret. It would've saved him some headache this past week.

"I can't believe that you didn't say I was the most beautiful girl you've ever seen," she scoffs.

"Well, that would've given us away, wouldn't it?"

“I suppose,” she drawls.

“Now that we've established that Theon was acting so weird because of a game," he reaches for Arya's hip. "Can we be done talking about him, now?"

Arya leans up to kiss him again.

Theon almost shouts with joy. He isn't cursed! Arya and Gendry kissed! Arya and Gendry _are kissing_!

Theon leaves the porch and walks back inside to find Robb. He isn't cursed!

Tyene springs in front of him. "Theon! There you are!"

Theon raises his eyebrow. She waves her phone in front of his face. "Look at this! I just got on Instagram and Gendry posted this on his story this morning." Theon nods. He knows that they're together now. "I think she burnt my pancakes but she looks too cute for me to be upset about it," she reads to him and shows him the picture of Arya in what looks like one of Gendry's shirts making pancakes.

"That's great, Tyene, have you seen Robb?"

Tyene furrows her eyebrows at Theon's lack of excitement, but points in the direction of Robb.

“You’re not cursed!” She whispers and pats his shoulder.

Theon grins and approaches Robb. Robb finishes walking towards him.

“About last night,” Robb starts. “I’m sorry—”

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve given you time to explain. I ran off and that probably freaked you out a little.”

Robb smiles softly and nods. “It did. I just... I’ve felt... different for a while. And I don’t really know what I’m feeling, but it’s for you.”

Theon smiles softly back. “Do you want to go home and talk somewhere that we don’t have to shout?” He suggests. Robb nods. Theon grins to himself when they start walking out of the party. He makes eye contact with Dany, whose eyes widen. She grabs Tyene’s arm and Theon gives them both a look that says ‘I’ll tell you later.’ 

_He isn’t cursed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAH theon’s dumbass really didn’t know that he was the clown all along bc arya & gendry just wanted to keep their relationship relatively secret
> 
> thank you so much for reading everyone!!! i hope you all liked it !!! 😂❤️


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